Joshua.... Please Pray

Hey folks... most of you know that Joshua had appts @ Children's last Tuesday. We met with Urology for the hypospadias (Surgery Dec. 30), oncology (they "cleared" us pending one last abdominal ultrasound) and genetics.

Genetics assured us he was sure Josh doesn't have Beckwith Weidemann, but could have a genetic disease in a family of diseases the has developmental issues. We could do further testing, which we opted out of, to find the exact diagnosis, but they could test for one thing, it would be negative, test for another and so on. Since he is being followed develomentally anyway (and is on track I might add) we opted to let him just be a baby. We will revisit the idea in 6 mos.

Oncology wanted one more ultrasound because even though he tested negative for Beckwith, some kids have it, but don't have the genetic marker. Thursday we did the ultrasound... and got icky results. 14 spots on the liver. Dr. says it could be thyroid, infection or cancer. Ordered tons of blood work to be done Friday. Blood work came back and thyroid funcition is fine, blood chemistry is fine, and the liver function is fine. There is one more test that won't be back until next week that will be a tumor marker test. The dr. said it is not thyroid related, but could still be infection or cancer. I asked why his chemistry would be fine if he had either of those and she said it could happen.

So... we will be going to Children's, Joshua will have a CT scan so they can see if the spots are infection or cancerous tissue. If it is infection he will be admitted for IV antibiotics. If it is cancer, he will be admitted for a biopsy.

None of it adds up to one or the other... the blood is fine, the liver function is fine, normally w/cancer they only see 4-5 spots, but with infection (more spots) they see elevated white blood cell counts. We are in a wait and see position.

Please pray for healing, of course, and most importantly (well, it's all really important) strength for Mike and I. We (Me) are tired. Tired of the continuous bad news. I truly believe God is in control. He has worked SOOOO many miracles in Joshua already. He is so much bigger then we can imagine. The enemy is working hard because he knows I am beaten and tired. I am just having a hard time... like snuggling him before he goes to sleep and sitting there memorizing every noise, every detail of his face because I am scared he is going to be gone before I really get to know him. Or folding up hand me downs that are for 18 mos wondering if he will even be here to wear them... It plain sucks, I'll be honest.

I am finding new verses to keep me going...

Deuteronomy 1:30-31

"30 The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the desert. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

Psalm 112:7
7 He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Psalm 46:1
1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

My God is my refuge. I will trust in Him. He has carried us this far I know He will continue.

And, finally, I haven't said it recently, but I sure do appreciate all the continued amazing support from all of you. Prayers, meals, childcare, etc. We are sooo sooo blessed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.