Lately

Here is what we have been up to the last couple days:

Little man is up to 7lbs 12ozs. All we do is feed, pump, sleep. Doesn't leave much time for anything else. We are slowly getting more efficient and will hopefully get into a rhthym soon!

The girls still think he is pretty cool to have around and want to hold him every chance they get. They have taken to playing checkers every night before bed... this time Addie won, not Kailee. Kailee was not the best sport about it. Addie was pretty proud of herself! We had a little sportsmanship lesson... you win some, you lose some, but either way, you should have fun!

The dogs haven't really showed ANY interest in Joshua at all. Silas really just wanted to see him momma, but found out a baby was sitting there. He still got some scratches, so he was happy.

Good 'ol blogger keeps uploading this one crooked. So, imagine it rotated. Mike put Joshua in one of his baskets of burp rags. He didn't seem to mind and the girls though it was hilarious. I made it a point to tell them that it is not ok for them to hide the baby in the baskets. That is a daddy joke ONLY!

Addie reading to her little bro.

Life is good! 10 more days of school left and then we get to relax a little! yippee!

Fave quote of the week: We told the girls we were leaving and they were going to babysit Joshua (joking of course) Addie says, "I'm not sittin' on a baby!!!" Silly girl.

Wedding!

Our sweet Gabba Goo got married May 15. Kailee was the ring bearer (with the ACTUAL rings because she is just that responsible!!) and Addie Ray was the flower girl. So cute. They were just thrilled to have such big jobs. Once we got there they were even more excited because they got to hang with the big girls in the "Get Ready Room". They did great for pics and all of the ladies just looked BEEAAUTTEEFUL!

They did great getting down the aisle. I actually didn't have to walk down with them (the last wedding - Winterberg - I had to walk down with Kailee). Once they got to the front, Addie kept putting her petals out and letting them fly in the wind. The photographer kept making faces at her and, of course, she made great faces back. It was hard to catch them on the camera. It ended up quite an emotional day because of some NICU news. Needless to say, I was pretty much and emotional wreck the whole time because I was happy for Gabba and Jordan, thought my big girls were amazing, grown up and just gorgeous, and because my little guy was at the hospital without me. We were spread thin that day. But we made it and Joshua came home the next day.

Gabba and Jordan, we are so glad you invited the girls to be a part of your special day! We love you both and look forward to being a part of your lives for many years to come!

Character Day

Kailee is in love with Fancy Nancy. Loves her. Has the back pack, the books, the underwear, you get my drift. So, when character dress-up day came around, she knew exactly what she wanted to be. And she put her outfit together all by herself. Love that kid.

Cake Decorating Contest!

Each year at school they have a cake decorating contest in conjunction with the Fun Fair Cake Walk. Kailee had a vision this year of what she wanted her cake to look like. A beautiful spring day. I did the main frosting to make it a blank canvas for her. She and her dad handled the rest (I was sleeping off a night of feeding the baby, so was not present for the main decorating)
And here is what she came up with:

I think she did an amazing job!!

Last pic... for now

WINNER!!!

Part 4: The Homecoming

HOME

In order to come home from the NICU, I spent the night so that I could feed Joshua as I would at home. If he gained weight, we got to leave. If he didn't, we had to stay with the feeding tube. Well, he gained an ounce! Sunday, May 16 we came home!

Our first fam pic at our friends house. The girls had been there while we went to the hopsital. We didn't tell them he was coming home b/c we weren't 100% sure. They were sooooo excited!! We even kept Kailee home from school Monday so we could just veg and be a family.

All 3 kids and a mommy!Big Sister Addie Ray

Big Sister Kailee

Sleeping with Dad. He already has figured out that our bed is WAY more cozy then his!

Morning!

Snuggle bugs

First picnic at the park

Addie wanted to go for a run, 7 loops around the park. Then we did 3 and she says, "Um, I really just wanted to do 3." That was about all the running I could handle anyway. I have a long way to go for a triathlon. Ugh.

Cutie

Part 3: Our Faith

OUR FAITH
The 17 days in the NICU, plus the pregnancy roller coaster, have probably been the most emotionally challenging/faith growing I have ever experienced. Let me tell you that leaving the hospital without your baby just plain sucks. Continually hearing the laundry list of “What could be wrongs” is heart wrenching. And I can’t even describe the feeling/emotions that go along with knowing the miracle that has already taken place just by him being here.

I am so amazed everyday at how God is working. Every time we get down or start to get frustrated, He gives us hope. I have had a lot of people ask me: Why are you still so positive about things? Why aren’t you shaking your fist at God? Why aren’t you mad? I even had the social worker or a nurse or someone come in to “talk” when I was still at the hospital because the doc/nurses were worried I was in denial about what was happening. Apparently when you have a lot of “could be this, might be that, blah blahs” you should curl up in a ball and cry. Not to say I didn’t cry, trust me I have shed my fair share of tears. I have been frustrated, wondered why, etc. But instead of giving into the enemy, I cry out to God. The same thing I have done since the doctor told me I could terminate my pregnancy because what he saw on an ultrasound didn’t bode well for survival. Literally… I cry out, yell out, etc. I was hoarse at one point because of the crying/shouting. God has provided a miracle in my son. A miracle I am so thankful he felt I (my family) deserved. I blogged a long time ago when this all was starting (December) about a sermon our pastor Steve did about trials either perfecting your faith or correcting your walk with God. I am proud to say my faith is being perfected each and everyday. I told the doctor that day that termination was not an option because he wasn’t my baby, he was God’s baby. That day I turned my son over to God and put my full trust in Him. I knew that it would be hard. I also knew that God doesn’t give us more then we can handle. He is faithful to equip us with whatever we need to handle the situations that we are in. God has equipped me to handle Joshua. Whatever his “laundry list” of “to watch fors” brings our family, I know that God will get me through it. There may be tears and shouting, but it will be to God, not AT God. Don’t yell at God. It really won’t get you anywhere. It is just a waste of energy.

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Phil 4:6-7

The peace of God gives great relief. Relief that some see as denial. I am not in denial. I have just chosen to seek refuge in the arms of God.

Here are some more verses that I love:

33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will[a] have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

If Jesus can overcome the world, certainly I can overcome this!!!

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

God will use this experience for good… for HIS purpose! We have been able to witness to so many through this!

13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13

I am so thankful!

11 The LORD will give strength to His people;
The LORD will bless His people with peace.
Psalm 29:11

Thank you for that peace Lord!

There is also an amazing song by Josh Wilson called “Before the Morning”. He wrote it for a friend who was told their son (who had heart problems) would not make it. He is now 7 or so (can’t remember). Google it and listen. Great words. My fave is:
“Would you dare, would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing? ‘Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling it can’t compare the joy that’s coming.”

Pain is temporary. This life is temporary. This season is temporary. I am so thankful for Joshua. He is so amazing in so many ways. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for his tiny life.

Thank you friends and family for all of your prayers and support with meals, child care, etc. You all have helped so much, we are so blessed!!

More Pictures

Sweet baby boy... His first mohawk

Blondie Baby

Check out the black eyes

The girls came to visit the hospital.

Since they are germ carriers, children are not allowed in the NICU, so they had to hold him up to the window for the girls to see. They did this on 2 occaisions for us, but then someon freaked out and said it was against the rules so we didn't get to do it again.
Celebrating with sparkling cider.

His bed with the name tag the girls made him. He wasn't in this bed long. He got moved to a "crib" once they knew he wasn't going to need anything crazy.

The name tag the nurses made him.

Snuggler

Another good look at the black eyes. And the icky feeding tube.

This is what we were up against for feeding. He was just out like a light. Nigh Night baby boy!

So handsome