Thankful

A few of my blog friends have done Thankful lists. It inspired me to make my own. It's not often enough that we sit and think of all the things in our life we are thankful for, even the little silly things.

1. John 3:16
2. A hubbie who loves me despite my "quirks"
3. 3 babies who are healthy and thriving
4. A family who loves me
5. A hubbie who supports my competitive spirit... i.e. my addiction to triathlons, 10ks, 5ks, obstacle races, etc.
6. Slobbery baby kisses
7. Belly laughs
8. The smell of rain
9. The smell of freshly mowed grass
10. Organization.
11. Empty space
12. Running
13. Running with friends
14. Good friends
15. Good wine
16. The sound of crashing waves
17. Chemical free products
18. A soft bed
19. Morning snuggles
20. A roof over my head
21. Mike's job
22. The ranch
23. Comfy clothes
24. Washer and Dryer
25. Internet
26. Coupons
27. The power of prayer
28. My church family
29. The smell of clean laundry
30. Working toilets
31. A warm cup of coffee in the morning
32. Fall
33. Christmas
34. The smell of a fire in the fireplace
35. Crafting and craft blogs
36. Honesty
37. Camping in our trailer
38. CHOCOLATE
39. Grace
40. Good music
41. My ipod
42. And my Garmin
43. A good steak
44. My wife.
45. The funny things Addie says like "alligator" for elevator and the little lisp she has when she says it.
46. Seeing my kids grow up knowing they are children of God
47. Peace
48. That I'm not famous
49. Blogs. Mine and the ones I stalk.
50. Sleep

Miracle Baby Strikes again:)

God never ceases to amaze me. I mean, I am amazed at what he does on a daily basis, but sometimes, he goes above and beyond anything I can imagine. Today was Joshua's follow-up cardio appointment. We are fortunate that Fresno Children's has a clinic at the hospital locally (same hospital the NICU is in, Sierra Vista) every 6 mos. We didn't have to make the big trek to Fresno, just down the grade.

Short synopsis of events at the end... fast forward if you feel:)

REVIEW...
We knew he had a few oddities in his heart: a VSD (a hole), a PDA (a part that should have closed at birth that hadn't yet), and a bicuspid valve (should have 3 flaps, but in Joshua, 2 flaps are fused together.). The VSD and PDA could need surgery down the line, but for now, they just needed to be followed. I had zero anxiety as I knew he was doing fine b/c he was gaining weight (heart prob kids normally have a hard time gaining b/c their hearts have to work harder to get blood where it needs to be, therefore burning more calories, therefore have trouble gaining weight) and he had good coloring (not blue). The doc we were seeing we had never actually met b/c his echos had all been here and the results sent to him via email/digital and then he talks to the main doc relaying whatever message/diagnosis to us.

The last echo J had was Sept. 1. At that time it was ordered by oncology b/c of the liver issue.

BACK TO TODAY...

Doc walks in and is very nice, relaxed (always a plus) and knew our fave NICU doc well. He listens to J's heart for about 3 minutes. J, being the chill little patient he is just layed there playing with the docs watch (closest thing to his little hands). When he was done listening, he said, "Well it sounds like it's pretty much closed up. "I asked, what the PDA or the VSD?" He said, "His PDA is still open?? I didn't hear it. Who told you it was open?" Me, "The oncology nurse did when she told us the results of the last echo." Doc, "Well, I don't remember seeing that on the report." We go onto talk about the bicuspid valve. I wanted to know what follow up we needed to do for that. He explained nothing, that bicuspid valves age faster then normal, so eventually (like in his 50's) he would need it replaced. He also explained how his heart worked a bit diff b/c the opening ends up smaller with bicuspid valves, but assured us his was doing a great job overcoming it b/c the flow sounded good. (I am amazed what they know by just listening!) He also explained that he thinks the VSD is almost closed, but wants to make sure it is closing the right way. Then he went off to look up the previous echo report to double check the PDA situation. He comes back in and says "What are you guys smokin'? Who told you that was open?" I explained it had been the oncology nurse person that called us with those reports. He said, "Well, it is CLOSED. And the VSD is closing the RIGHT WAY. AND (as if that wasn't great enough) the bicuspid valve is TRICUSPID LIKE IT SHOULD BE." I almost cried right there. Not that it was a life threatening issue, but that the only way that could happen is by GOD HEALING HIM. The fusion of flaps can't just undo itself. The previous 3+ echoes this kid has had showed bicuspid. It's not like one fluke echo showed it, but not others. It was there. And now its NOT. PRAISE TO THE LORD!

SYNOPSIS:

Appt was great... VSD is closing the RIGHT way, PDA is CLOSED, Bicuspid valve is tricuspid now... corrected by the Lord! Another follow-up in 6 mos to make sure the VSD is all the way closed and then J's heart will have a clean bill of health.

The heart that "didn't bode well for survival" in prenatal ultrasound is perfect :)

Joshua 1:9
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Thank you Lord for being with us always during this long, long road.

Thank you friends and family for your continued prayers and support. It means so much!

One year ago

Beware. Long diary-like post ahead. Therapy for me. Just warning you.

One year ago, as of the 28th, we loaded up the family to go see the tiny bean inside me. Boy??? Girl??? We put in our guesses... Boy, Boy, Boy... Addie thought girl. We didn't care really. Just wanted to see healthy. Expected to see healthy. Everything up to that point had been A-ok. I layed on the table next to the ultrasound machine. The girls and Mike sat next to me watching as the doctor (the evil Dr. Shields) went about his merry way measuring and typing. Things were going much slower then I remembered them going with the girls. MUCH slower. My gut told me something wasn't right. Especially when he got to the heart. He spend SOOOOOO much time on the heart. At that point I said, "What do you see?" His answer gave me no comfort... something to the affect of, "Let me gather more information and I will explain when I am done." My heart sank. I vaguely remember laying their quietly for a moment. Then I tried to say some cute things to the girls so they wouldn't be worried... like, "look, that's the baby's heart... isn't it neat??" When inside a million thoughts are running through my head. When Dr. Evil was done he asked if I wanted the nurses to take the girls. Seriously??? How bad could it be? No, we told him, we are a family and they can stay. He proceeded to tell us that there was a laundry list of things wrong with the tiny bean inside of me. So wrong that "it didn't bode well for survival." So wrong that words like "genetic mutation", "terminate the pregnancy" were being spoken. When he said that, I couldn't even look at Mike or my sweet girls for fear my strength would be zapped away from my body and I would start balling. At the same time, (now looking back) I am shocked at the strength I did feel. I knew this was God's baby, but in times of trial, you really learn what your faith is made of. The craziest part is that I didn't even have to pray for strength. I didn't have time to. God knew the news we were going to get and granted me the strength I needed to tell the doctor termination was absolutely not an option. That this was God's baby and it wasn't our decision to end the life that was clearly growing inside of me. I remember the rest of the day being like an out of body experience. On our way home from the appt I called our pastor and asked if we could go to their house to pray We dropped the girls off with Beth and went and prayed for the tiny life that was fighting inside. At that point Beth knew nothing, other then I threw my kids out at her and drove off. When we got back I remember standing in her driveway and hugging her for what seemed like forever and it all just came out. Tears. Lots of tears. Mike and I took our girls home and sat them down and explained to them what happened. They knew the doctor said the baby may not live. Explain that to a 4 and 6 year old. We explained to them that God has a plan and sometimes we don't know it and we just have to wait and see. Wait. Trust. Wait some more. We told them that the baby may not live and that that was ok because maybe it wasn't the right baby for our family. I never in a million years thought I would have to explain that to my little girls. Thank goodness Mike is good at translating some of those big issues to tiny talk. Kailee had the hardest time with it. Probably cause she understood the most. As soon as they were settled and in bed I just remember Mike and I talking and I just kept saying it was like a dream. It didn't feel real. We replayed what Dr. Evil said over and over to make sure we had both heard the same thing. We prayed. And prayed. And prayed. And then we moved on and decided that we were not going to let this get us. This was our baby and he (we knew then the bean was a boy) was in God's hands and we were going to trust HIM.

It has been a LONG stinking year. We have gone to tons of appts, heard tons of statistics, read the faces of docs who are trying to let you down easy, met great nurses who would actually give you the real story, read the faces of docs who are SHOCKED that your baby is the baby he is today (like the latest heart miracle).

Joshua Michael. He wasn't "supposed" to live according to the medical world. He is living. He is thriving. He is a miracle that I thank God for over and over again.

One year ago today we were told that our baby would likely not make it to term alive. Well.... here is what he is up to:

He loves to be silly. Loves it and knows when he's being silly. Here he was talking and sporting a wig of mine from when I was sick....
He likes to crash out on the couch when he should be sleeping in his bed.... a battle we are currently waging.He loves a good book. Adores books.
He also loves to give big slobbery, open mouth kisses, eat lots of baby food, kick in the bath, bang on anything and everything to make noise, blow rasberries, clap (with help, but he loves the sound his hands make when they clap together!), play peek-a-boo, hang out with his big sisters and we are SOOO close to sitting like a big boy!! We love him and are so thankful everyday for the miracle God gave our family. Thank you Lord for that gift!

That Scared JESUS!!

We were driving down the highway today when I saw a hawk in the middle of the lanes about 5 cars ahead... I didn't mention anything cause I kinda thought it had already met its demise on 101. Well, low and behold the thing takes off and flys away as if shocked that these cars kept flying by. As we got to the spot he had been sitting, there was a dead squirrel/mouse/rat/something. He was in the middle of lunch. Of course, traffic came to an almost complete stop, rather abruptly. Even though I was watching the thing play out, I still had to stop quickly. I explained to the girls what had happened, they asked, I told. "A hawk was eating something that died in the middle of the road and got scared by the cars and flew off. It scared the drivers and they put on their brakes." A minute or 2 later, Addie says, "That peacock scared Jesus!!" I snickered quietly and said "What do you mean?" That peacock (hawk) scared Jesus in my heart!!" Ahhhh... so stinking adorable.

Summer Fall

Yesterday we decided to rake up the leaves in our front yard and jump in them... well the kids jumped in them. It was a tiny pile, but did the trick!

Notice they are in t-shirts and shorts because it wa 80 degrees!! Is it really November????

Josh has a tooth! The one next to it is super close to. Hello chompers!!

Gotta love making spit bubbles.

More warrior and Halloween

Forgot to add these to the end of the Warrior Post. When I got home from the race the kids wanted to check out my loot. We put the hat on Josh and it was like he knew he was being silly. He was super smiley and smug. Hilarious.

Last week we carved pumpkins with Daddy. We normally carve with our next door neighbors and several other families, but this year, we did it alone so Mike could help out. We also did it inside this year so we didn't FREEZE! The mess stayed surprisingly contained.

Step 1: Clean out guts.

Step 2: Draw design to be carved. Kailee wanted to do a bear face like a bear they have named Frank. Addie wanted... well. We aren't sure what exactly she was getting at.

We ended up carving 4 on one side and her name on the other.

This year we opted out of trick-or-treating. If it were up to me we wouldn't do any of that nonsense because it is too scary. I hate the crowds (the entire town comes to our neighborhood to trick-or-treat) and I didn't want Josh out in the cold. So, as an alternative, we hung out at our sweet neighbor DeeDee's and the girls passed out candy. DeeDee feeds the street chili every year before the kids go off and instead of heading out, we just stayed put. Kailee said it was even better then trick or treating because she didn't have to walk "all over the place" and still got candy. To give you a picture of how many kids we get, we went through about 20 bags of candy. Big bags. Not sissy size bags. Insane.

Josh was an Auburn Football player (thanks Aunti Deb!), Addie was his mascot (Tiger) and Kailee was his cheerleader:)

I am a WARRIOR!!!

We are warriors. We even have the hats to prove it. Yesterday I (we) completed the most fun event EVER!! Warrior Dash. It rocked. My best friend Jill (college roomie) met me in Hollister for this insane obstacle course run that we signed up for in March. It was 3.5 miles of fun/obstacles that included JUMPING OVER FIRE. Let's just say, I couldn't sleep the night before I was so excited. Think night before Christmas when you were a kid excited. The entire 40 minute drive to the location I had perma-grin. And while we waited for our start time I could barely contain myself. ANNNNNDDDD it was all I imagined and more.

There are 30 minute waves that start a whole lotta peeps. When the start happens, they shoot flames in the air from each side of the start banner. You can see it if you look close.

After you take off running, you start to hit the obstacles... these are not in order, but will give you the run down of the INSANITY...

Climbing over 5 cars... This is Jill handling business.

This is the WEB. Bungee cord material criss crossed all crazy like and you had to go through.

Then there was a really steep hill we had to run up... on the other side of the hill was this ravine with 5"-ish fence post things across it. The ravine was prob 6 feet deep and we had to get across w/o killing ourselves. We both clowned it:) This is Jill in action.Next up was the cargo net climb... climb up one side, down the other. That's me. And Jill climbingThen there was like 5 4 ft high walls we had to jump over... we missed the photo op there.

On to the tires. Lots of tires. As long as you didn't look up you wouldn't fall. That's me in the black.And then to the hay bale pyramid... up and then down. Me working it... Jillie's turn... in black hopping down.Next up was the tunnels... probably 25 feet of tunnel to climb through. Go Jillie!!Next was the slip and slide. Holy cow, I had forgotten how much fun a good slip and slide was. There is Jill... bottom left corner,Me on my way down... head first. So much freaking fun I smile just thinking about it.After we squished down the next 1/2 mile or so, we got to jump over FIRE!!! TWICE!!!We followed that up with the 3' deep mud pool. You had to crawl through it. There was barbed wire (real barbed wire) above the mud. No pics cause our waterproof cameras were mud laden at the end.

Once we got the cameras cleaned up this is what we looked like:)

We went directly to the "Warrior Wash" line which led to a fire hose that was spraying off the masses. Nothing like showering with 50 of your closest friends?!?! (It wasn't actual showering, just hosing off the bulk of the mud from our clothes, then traipsing back to the car soaking wet AND muddy.) The fire hose did little to help the cause. Thank goodness for plastic bags to sit on.

It was amazing. I am still giddy about it. I really want to do it again. Tomorrow. Thanks for an amazing day Jill! I had so much fun!!!!